Older Quotes: These are older and cluttered
up my quote page. They are still quite funny and entertaining.
First, from my inhabiting dumb AIM chatrooms:
Another interesting conversation
BabyChiCka0X: a/s/l
jerkyb0y: 64/m/TN
BabyChiCka0X: nuh uh
jerkyb0y: why not?
BabyChiCka0X: casue ur to stupid to be that dumb!
jerkyb0y: let's examine that sentence
jerkyb0y: how can i be too stupid to be that dumb?
BabyChiCka0X: i dont no
BabyChiCka0X: u just are
jerkyb0y: you don't "no" much, do you?
BabyChiCka0X: yeah i do
CrazedZooChimp: I got my ass kicked the other day
CrazedZooChimp: I was saying how French people sucked...
CrazedZooChimp: and then all hell broke loose
jerkyb0y: You should have told them to surrender.
CrazedZooChimp: Ha!
jerkyb0y: Said the Germans were invading.
CourtsAPlayette: whadd tha hell... germans invading?
QUESTIONUNIQ: AYO NE GIRLS UP IN THIS MUFUCKA?? HOLLA
ATCHA NIGGA......................I SAY THIS OLL THE
TIME AND IMMA SAY IT AGAIN IF U A CORNBALL BITCH DO
URSELF A FAVOR AND DONT IM ME......IF U DO I WILL BE
FORCED 2 PRESS THE INSTA SLAPA BITCH BUTTON...DONT
TEST ME .........IGHT NO GASSD BITCHED NO SHYSTYBITCHES.....ALL THE REST HOLLA
SCOTT G DA MAN: AIGHT KIDS 1 HUNNIT AND A HALF BIGNASTY SCOTT G IS BOOGS
SCOTT G DA MAN has left the room.
jerkyb0y: Elephants have six-foot long dicks.
FoolishBot149: Elephants have six-foot long dicks,nice to meet you!
prodigy0084: shut your hole scooter
scooter7720: which hole?
CrazedZooChimp: Sup!
W1thERed RAb1T: wtf sup?
jerkyb0y: Sup = slang for 'what's up.'
W1thERed RAb1T: hmm...
W1thERed RAb1T: damn niggers
jhFOOTball 71: nite
jhFOOTball 71: im going to bed too
jhFOOTball 71: after i kill some kittens with this masterbation
jhFOOTball 71: anyone ever killed a neighbors cat them cut it up and mailed it to them just because they wouldn't buy shit you were trying to sell for football boosters back in 7th grade
jhFOOTball 71: he is a dual patron of the assfuck men of america institute for preteen male runaways collegic alliance
HurleyChick7202: hey learn how to spell write
CSadPanda90: asl please?
jerkyb0y: 64/m/TN
CSadPanda90: fo realz?
jerkyb0y: Fo realz.
The Procrustean: Later!! Fags!! Take care of Rassoccer virgin ass!! I'm telling you!! He's worth money in the fetish industry!! Right BOY!! Rassoccer!! You submissive little gimp!! You better put on your chasity belt!! Because I won't be here to defend your ass!! Take care!!
jerkyb0y: This place better get interesting real soon.
rassoccer21: ;lsdajkfowehtohgasdfhowefdsjfldkjjjjjjjjjjkfajlkdsjfowjfoijdskfjoweurfjlmnzcxnljdklfjldsjfls
djflsdfjlsdjf INTERESTING
deppfan1555: that's so gay.
jerkyb0y: I don't think that qualifies.
KrazieRosie087: okay you dont even know me so you can't call me a "stank as bitch"
jerkyb0y: Stank as bitch.
KrazieRosie087: and umm what is a stank as bitch?
jerkyb0y: You, of course.
JOKERZlaff: fag= female ass graber
jerkyb0y: You = idiot.
Next, IRC chatrooms:
<Zaratustra> Paris is really pretty, though. You feel like you're in a movie.
<doobedoobedoo> Stop being gay zara. Men don't admire scenery.
<Kazz> People don't often take kindly to those who jerk off on chess games.
<doobedoobedoo> BUT THE QUEEN MAKES ME SO HOT!!!!
<memo> I prefer the rooks, myself.
<El> What's Diablo II on b.net like anyways?
<doobedoobedoo> It's like...taking a really nice crap, and then grabbing the feces, and shoving them down your throat.
<doobedoobedoo> ...There's a Britney Spears dancing PS2 game thing.
<Ben-San> "Skank Skank Revolution"?
<Geothermal> I got drunk after Prom last night and had numerous drunken chick fondling me
<Geothermal> chicks*
<doobedoobedoo> Did you fondle back?
<Geothermal> no, I wasn't that drunk
<Zaratustra> fag.
<Squizzle> Hold CTRL + ALT, then hit DEL twice in rapid succession for the secret hacker menu!
<doobedoobedoo> Obviously, I'm not cool, because I don't have a link to midget lesbian porn.
* Smidge wonders if that links works.
<doobedoobedoo> Which links would that be?
<Smidge> sorry... link
* doobedoobedoo notes the subtle humor of subject/verb agreement
(Note: The following links are not for the squeamish. I highly recommend that you do not click them.)
<Shimazu> Wookies make their own hole doob. http://www.wwoec.com/tv/sw/chewiel.jpg
<doobedoobedoo> Uh?
<Shimazu> That's wookie cock in the spinal column of princess lei. Yes.
<Shimazu> Good morning.
<doobedoobedoo> How's the elf?
<Shimazu> Long. Long. Gone.
<Shimazu> But I got rugrats tentacle porn , so I'mfine.
<Shimazu> http://www.wwoec.com/tv/rr/angelica_pickles.jpg
* doobedoobedoo chooses not to click that
<Smidge> that is wrong on so many levels.
<NeonId> Whatever floats your boat.
<doobedoobedoo> I prefer "Whatever fries your bacon."
<doobedoobedoo> Whatever mashes your potatoes.
<doobedoobedoo> Whatever launches your nuclear retaliation against your communist foes.
<NeonId> Whatever gets the rohypnol out of your system before the big drunk guy date rapes you.
<Kazz> Hurrah for Aspartame!
<Kazz> Ride the carcinogen wave into the future!
<Jack-Z> Tab really isn't that bad
<Jack-Z> It's not good, but not bad
<Mediocrity> Better than Mellow Yellow.
<MightyQuinn> Quite rightly.
<Mediocrity> Then again, for something to be better than M.Y., it just has to not be piss.
<doobedoobedoo> What's your problem with piss?
<doobedoobedoo> It's all natural and free from pesticides.
<Nimduin> I'm black. In a white kind of way.
<Nimduin> At least, I have a black sweatshirt.
<doobedoobedoo> You're whiter than milk!
<spunky> And fattier than Cream.
<Xerox> Before I found this place, I was pretty much the same, only without a decent tolerance to gaping anuses and mutilation hentai.
*** TheVortex was kicked by doobedoobedoo (I will not tire. I will not falter. I will not fail.)
<doobedoobedoo> That was a good way to piss off about 2 billion people.
<doobedoobedoo> Another way is, "I believe in evolution."
<Rico> 2 billion people that supposedly aren't supposed to hurt you.
<doobedoobedoo> They'll burn me on a pike or something.
<doobedoobedoo> They'll go on a crusade and sack my house.
<doobedoobedoo> They'll condemn me to hell.
<doobedoobedoo> Or maybe they'll imprison me until I change my religious beliefs.
<doobedoobedoo> Or they could start an organized movement to hunt down and kill every single person in my family.
<Rico> Yeah, but just remember: If they kill you, they'll end up in Hell by their own credo.
<doobedoobedoo> No, no, no. You don't get it. If they kill me, they'll just be fulfilling the jihad.
<Xerox> If there's something I've learned in life, it's that people can lodge some amazing things up their anus.
<doobedoobedoo> This is more interesting than doing my homework.
<MightyQuinn> what isn't?
<doobedoobedoo> Good point.
<Defcon> I'm just mad because I'm impotent.
<factorial_nine> Defcon, on the other hand, what a gay individual.
<factorial_nine> Gayest in all Espernet.
<Defcon> Yes.
<Defcon> I am quite gay.
Time for AIM in general:
CrazedZooChimp: what?
jerkyb0y: i dunno
CrazedZooChimp: fucker
jerkyb0y: i can live with that
CrazedZooChimp: WHY AM I ALLOWED TO WASTE MONEY ON PORN BUT NOT GAMBLING!
jerkyb0y: because you're a frustrated teenager with no sexual output
YuriBukhan7: oh ic
jerkyb0y: ic uc
YuriBukhan7: stop that
YuriBukhan7: its gay
jerkyb0y: ic
jerkyb0y: i think im going to scamper off to bed
Mitzi 1232: sweet dreams
Mitzi 1232: i hope the bedbugs dont slowly devour your flesh
jerkyb0y: you're arrogant?
ABanerG: i dunno
ABanerG: but i guess i'm amused by black, uneducated people who are
jerkyb0y: that is deemed worthy to be added to my quote list
ABanerG: fuck
ABanerG: please no
jerkyb0y: www.parkandsurf.com/john/quotes.htm
ABanerG: after looking at the other quotes on this page, i've decided that my
thing about black people wouldn't stand out as especially offensive
jerkyb0y: i need to pee
Dmontyman: cool
jerkyb0y: i guess
Dmontyman: that excites me
Dmontyman: i feel invigorated
Dmontyman: and slightly aroused
Dmontyman: WHOA
Dmontyman: whoa, did i just say that out loud?
(Note: It's probably not recommended to click these either.)
Crayzy SOB: Now go to www.oralse.cx.
jerkyb0y: now fuck off
Crayzy SOB: ...
jerkyb0y: go to www.goatse.cx first
Crayzy SOB: I have. Multiple times.
Crayzy SOB: Er. Once. I mean once.
Crayzy SOB: Just like I put the exclamation point after Yahoo! when I type it out.
jerkyb0y: that's gay
Crayzy SOB: I tend to leave it out in speech though.
Crayzy SOB: Yes. Proper use of the English language is so flagrantly homosexual.
jerkyb0y: you're an annoying prick
Crayzy SOB: Thank you.
jerkyb0y: it seems only appropriate that you take pride in that
jerkyb0y: why is that funny?
Crayzy SOB: It makes me giggle.
jerkyb0y: giggle?
Crayzy SOB: ...Like a school girl.
Dumbo84: second guessing never helped anyone
jerkyb0y: or did it?
Dumbo84: the limit as t approaches 11:43 PM of e^Kourtney(t) + not enough sleep as a function of q is bed
jerkyb0y: bed = false;
if ( bed == true)
kourtney = sleep;
else
sleep != true;
Dumbo84: sleep!= bed*now*pillows*rest*wonderfully refreshing
jerkyb0y: you use pointers?
jerkyb0y: bah, i survive on 4 hours of sleep a night
jerkyb0y: and if it's good enough for me, then i can make an unsubstantiated generalization and say it's good enough for you
Dumbo84: oh but you see, that is where you come upon the psychologically common generalization error
jerkyb0y: you mean the fundamental attribution error?
Dumbo84: no, i do not.
jerkyb0y: fine, i dont need the fundamental attribution error then
Dumbo84: did i say you did?
Dumbo84: see if i care.
jerkyb0y: ....whahuh?
jerkyb0y: do you care?
Dumbo84: of course not
Dumbo84: yes but you see here missy, sleep directly affects my outlook on life, which therefore is directy proportional to the k value of "Kourtney", instead of being indirectly proportional, such as the practice AP tests are, with a 1/k value times e to the x squared divided by the square root of 7
jerkyb0y: P = Ae^Kourtney(t) + C
Dumbo84: exactly
jerkyb0y: "Common sense allows Elizabeth to see that she was in love with Darcy biatch, to gauge Jane and Bingley's affections, and to see Wickham's true nature. Ya got that holmes? Jane Austen is showing that the most important trait a person can have is that of common sense. Word."
Crayzy SOB: ...No, now. Trust me.
jerkyb0y: ...No, later. Suck it.
jerkyb0y: Some would say that you're a capricious obdurate ostentate who lacks any propriety whatsoever. Your officious indolence proves a formidable barrier between inured decorum and obsequious fidelity.
jerkyb0y (10:24:58 PM): when im uncomfortable i just say dumb dumb things
jerkyb0y (10:27:27 PM): and then the conversation dries up
jerkyb0y (10:27:42 PM): ...
COCKEN BITCH 7: crayzysob, nice broadband connection, wanna cyber?
COCKEN BITCH 7: Do you think I'm sexy??
jerkyb0y: goddamnit, i dont want to do my homowork
jerkyb0y: hmm, that was an interesting typo, yet it was strangely appropriate
jerkyb0y: you sound excited, and it cant be because of me
jerkyb0y: or am i alleviating boredom?
Mitzi 1232: hahah
Mitzi 1232: its because i missed your sunshine attitude
jerkyb0y: oh
jerkyb0y: i brighten up your day huh?
Mitzi 1232: yup
Mitzi 1232: its good to know someone so cheerfull and optimistic
Mitzi 1232: although i must warn you
Mitzi 1232: you might have a tad to much self-confidence
jerkyb0y: "To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not / Imagination trace the noble dues of Alexander till he find it stopping a bung-hole." (5.1 p 106)
jerkyb0y: that's funny because
1) it said 'Alexander' and,
2) it said he would be stopping a 'bung-hole'
Crayzy SOB signed off at 7:35:41 PM.
Crayzy SOB signed on at 7:35:45 PM.
Crayzy SOB signed off at 7:35:48 PM.
Crayzy SOB signed on at 7:35:58 PM.
jerkyb0y: one more time!
Crayzy SOB signed off at 7:36:13 PM.
Crayzy SOB signed on at 7:36:17 PM.
Crayzy SOB: Just for you.
Crayzy SOB: Note to self: Snapple peach iced tea doesn't taste like peach.
jerkyb0y: note to self: 44-oz Super Big Gulp increases need to urinate
jerkyb0y: huk
Dumbo84: hahahahaha
Dumbo84: huk huk huk
jerkyb0y: you like 'huk?'
Dumbo84: whats it mean?
jerkyb0y: it means "I'm a dumb Korean on battle.net and I have nothing better to say."
Dumbo84: oh well then its not funny anymore
Crayzy SOB: /me is lazy
jerkyb0y: /you is stupid
Crayzy SOB: Never mind.
jerkyb0y: you cant get away with that
Crayzy SOB: I just did.
jerkyb0y: bastard
jerkyb0y: just what in the hell are you doing anyway?
Crayzy SOB: Stagnating.
jerkyb0y: look, is it bad?
Crayzy SOB: Yes.
jerkyb0y: you see no redeeming qualities whatsoever?
Crayzy SOB: None.
Crayzy SOB: Wow, I can send 288 point font.
jerkyb0y: but can you send 289 point font?
Crayzy SOB: ...
jerkyb0y: then you're nothing
Crayzy SOB: Fucker.
jerkyb0y: as they say in china, im out like a two-bit hooker with bound feet after overdosing on heroin
Note: The following is in reference to the all-time great movie Half-Baked; do not construe it as racist, please. Or you can, and then hate me and wish me evil. Your choice.
Crayzy SOB: I find your comment lacking.
jerkyb0y: Fuck you nigger!
jerkyb0y: respond biatch
jerkyb0y: you gotta represent
jerkyb0y: I KILL YOU!
jerkyb0y: YOU WILL REGRET YOUR MOTHER CONCEIVING YOU!
jerkyb0y: YOUR LIFE WILL BE THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF HELL!
jerkyb0y: YOU WILL SUFFER THE WRATH OF A FULLY ANGERED WATER BUFFALO!
jerkyb0y: IT WILL SPIKE YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!
jerkyb0y: AND ONCE YOU ARE DEAD IT WILL IMPALE YOU IN THE ASS AND FLING YOU INTO THE OCEAN!
jerkyb0y: YOU WILL SLOWLY BE DEVOURED BY THE DISEASED MICROBES!
jerkyb0y: UNTIL YOU ARE EATEN BY A GIANT SQUID AND TORN ASUNDER INTO 11.58 TRILLION PIECES!
jerkyb0y: LIFE ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THERE!
jerkyb0y: WHILE RESIDING IN THE GIANT SQUID'S STOMACH, THE SQUID WILL GET HUNTED DOWN BY THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!
jerkyb0y: YOU WILL BE PUT INTO A MUSEUM AND STUCK IN A GIANT JAR OF FORMALDEHYDE!
jerkyb0y: MILLIONS OF ONLOOKERS WILL ADMIRE YOUR DEAD, SORRY ASS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS TO COME!
jerkyb0y: YOU WILL STAY THERE UNTIL THE MUSEUM BURNS DOWN AND ...oh fuck, im bored
So, this is the end of my quotes page; sad, I know, but you can deal with it.
